Many people have problems with trusting others, as it can be said that lack of confidence envelops most of our social relationships, and the matter is that if a person wants to trust others he must gain confidence in himself first.
How to trust yourself!
How many times have we promised ourselves to do something like not exposing ourselves to psychological danger or physically, or treating ourselves kindly, or achieve a purpose that we have always desired, or drawing closer to God and supplication, and we did not do that?
When we fail to do the thing that we promise ourselves to do, our inner child loses the confidence, just as we promise the child to give him a gift if he does the best thing each time without giving him to lose confidence in us and stop believing us, and when the inner child loses to each of us self-confidence will program the same feeling on others and finds it difficult to give them confidence.
The main reason for a lack of self-confidence and internal decisions may be due to the wrong education.
Parents rarely listen to the decisions and opinions of their children and take it seriously, For example, when a child says that he does not accept something because he finds it annoying or embarrassing for him, his parents force him to accept it or Going with it ignoring his internal opinion and imposing his opinion on the child so that the child learns that he should not listen to the inner voice that guides him to behave in matters but rather must listen to those who are greater than him,
And the problem can get worse and accompany the child even when he grows up, to always ignore the inner voice of himself and listen to others, the solution is for the person to try as much as possible to listen to that voice and follow it to gain confidence in himself again.
The reasons that lead to falling into the problem of losing confidence in others vary between accumulations of the past and exposure to negative attitudes and experiences with failure to overcome them..
The improper upbringing in which the child grows up from an early age amid exaggerated protection from the parents and not leaving a space for him to discover and learn by establishing social relations with those of his age and getting to know different personalities are among the main causes of suffering from the problem of losing confidence in others.
Exposure to the traumas of emotional betrayal, due to which many people are exposed to the problem of trust in a relationship, and losing confidence in others, especially between spouses, which makes social relationships very limited and confined to people of similar sex only.
The wrong beliefs and values that a person’s mind may acquire and store in his cognitive perceptions over the years are among the reasons that also lead to the problem of losing confidence in others.
Previous negative situations related to which a person fell victim to treachery by other people who gave them his confidence and they are not worthy of it, especially if these persons from the person’s inner circle were the most important causes of adults suffering from the problem of losing confidence in others.
How to trust others
No one wants to live in a shell isolated from others, which is done by someone who has lost confidence in others, whether due to a bad experience in his childhood or in the recent past, and this problem can be eliminated and confidence gained again by following these steps:
It’s normal to lose confidence after a shock
It is necessary for a person to realize that it is normal for him to have no confidence in others after going through a strong shock, because the nature of man and his instincts are defensive and weakens the fear of being traumatized again in the future, and because he believes that his lack of confidence in others protects him from pain, and therefore the person should not blame Himself for lack of confidence in others, but rather must determine the main cause of the problem and try to solve it.
Not generalizing someone’s behavior to others
It is also necessary not to generalize a person’s behavior to others, because people are different in nature, some of them are passive, some of them are vile, and some of them are not trustworthy, while there are other people who are kind and worthy of trust, so people may not allow one experience or one bad person to destroy his ability to trust others.
Think well of others
When a person is subjected to a situation in which he trusts, he involuntarily thinks about the mistrust of the other side and doubts his morals and intentions, but instead, he must understand that this other is a human being and the human being is inherently wrong, and as psychiatrist Dr. Jennifer Gentile said that it must be remembered that most people are good and wish goodness For others, even these good people make mistakes and sometimes betray trust, which can be traced back to emotional awareness and desire to learn from mistakes.
Identify the root of the problem
To solve the problem of lack of trust in others, the cause of the problem must be identified and disclosed, whether it is for a close friend or a psychiatrist, and this helps to get rid of the problem and move forward to trust in others.